Rape is the ultimate violation that any person can go through. It forever installs fear into your mind. You always ask yourself "what if...?". There are always smells, or songs, or textures of clothing that bring back those awfull memories. Rape is not something that is going to go away if we do not act to stop it. Rape should never be unnoticed.

I have been a victim of rape three times, once by a family member, once by an online acquatiance and once by someone who had been my 'friend' for years. To avoid triggering someone, I will not go into the details of my rapes on this page. Causing a flashback for someone else is the last thing I want to do.

It took me 5 years to tell someone about the first rape. Those were years of horrendous flashbacks, panic attacks and body memories. Trying to keep something like that a secret, out of fear, is very hard to do and it wrecks havok on your mind. The other two rapes, I confided in people about almost immediatly. Although, I did not have the courage or emotional energy to file a report with the police for any of the rapes. Because I did not immediatly go to the hospital after the rapes and get a rape test done, there was no proof of it. It was my word against the rapist's. I felt that my word was not strong enough to win and therefore did not report it. I was very afraid of the rapists and what they could do to me and my family. Now I see that by not reporting it, I left the rapist with an opportunity to rape again, and for that I am very regretful. If you fall victim to a rape, please do not let it go as I did, go to an Emergency Room and tell them what happened.

I have also been told that because I did not scream or physically fight off the rapist, that it was my fault and/or by not screaming it was giving consent. THIS IS NOT TRUE! If you are a victim of rape, never let someone tell you its your fault. I dont care if you were dancing around the room naked before the rape, if you said no and the other party did not stop it is rape. Rape is never the victims fault. If you are a victim of rape, please get help!