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within these constraints 
The moment of attraction erotic lust and superficial desire spoken messages to absent minds lips devour each other while tongues wrestle in controlled madness bodies merge upon the soft pillowed canvas eager to be painted by the sweat of a newborn relationship hands delicately remove the shells of innocence dancing excitedly between buttons and zippers tossing all caution to the brink of eternity satin flesh hot and sensitive naked and pure they begin to explore licking nibbling massaging sucking biting kissing teasing whispering shaking Penetration- a slow death of virginity two bodies melt into an ivory pool bleeding with pain crying ecstasy tears and sweat mingle while liquid motions stab closer and closer to pleasure screaming Orgasm guilt the cross on the wall has melted and Jesus' face is blank with shame sleep? not tonight  the mourning tree autumn, so somber as we trees cry silent death anticipating winter- frozen life gray trees upon a gray sky skeletal wasteland amputated tree naked for the coming spring crippled, She survives birth of a warm sun dying She struggles to breathe spring resurrection summer- sultry sex we frolic under Her boughs shaded paradise part 2 of my voyage i must be dead i can hear my indian ancestors chanting over a heavy bass drum seance for me guiding my wandering spirit home Shut Up and Dance for Rain! i will be there when i arrive prepare my peace pipe and lay me out some peyote and i shall tell you of my insane voyage and our eternal futures Mother Earth, Father Spirit, Buffalo Woman- we are all the love that lives, burns, and dies inside i am the lyrical shaman for this afterlife tribe the smoke has vanished the flame is behind me this voyage seems a dim hallucination i am here my ancestors welcome me with your fear and embrace me with your drugs the Dawn Star has faded awaken the Night lets dance around the fire and pray for sex The river becomes the sea and you become me armaggedon anniversary i went home last night one year too late on the anniversary of our death would you believe someone else lives there now? i wonder if they are as happy as you said we would be maybe his girlfriend beats him too? i stood in the rain for over an hour looking in their window that used to be ours their bed is against the wrong wall and their posters are matted behind glass and their dresser is made of maple not oak remember when we joked about cleaning deposits? they did a wonderful job of removing my blood from the white walls it was well worth the 250 dollars i saved 2 months for these people are aliens- they are intruding in our home we were supposed to be forever- we should be inside warm and happy in our bed beneath their window laughing at the lost travelers in the parking lot they should be outside in this wintery storm cold and punished for trespassing in our room how long have i been here? this rain is so cold you remember rain, don't you? it always seemed the steady drizzles could wash away our sins and heal all wounds it was 4 a.m. and you still owed me a walk i laid on the cool entrance tiles freshly beaten broken and you promised a walk in the rain but by the time i could move the blood had dried with the tears and you were too tired to change so i crawled into the bed under our window listened to your apologies, dreams, and promises of a nocturnal baptism in the outdoors awoke the next day, kissed you lightly in the bed under our window and never saw you again all that is left is a single ash from the holocaust one small picture locked in my drawer lonely nights i stare at it and talk to you as though you were still alive even on these rainy nights sitting on our bed looking out of a different window in a different apartment i still can't look into your two-dimensional eyes 2.2.02 i died 4 years ago im just waiting for my funeral this is the longest viewing longer than jesus' crucifixion and deeper than the nails through his feet prepare my cross its my time to shine interview me now for the future myths i want to show you god and his lack of love the time is now you must eat It before It spoils parade me across the lands polish my soul and make me a demagogue write an obituary fitting of kings i will never be the things that they say i could never answer all that you pray what a wonderful world in the key of delirium minor i hear children scream, old people too i see them bleed for me and you and i think to myself what a horrible world i see skin-burning flesh, and pools of red the dark scary days, when god is dead and i scream to myself what a horrible world the faces of the demons, so pretty in your eyes a hundred drunken midgets getting stroked and sodomized i see friends killing friends singing "how do you do?" they're really whispering "i FUCKED you!" i hear children fucking, then watch them cry abort your fetus, to avoid the lies and i beat on myself, what a horrible world yes, i'd die for myself, what a wonderful world under harbor worthless tired empty (can't breathe) a chair squeaks across nicotine linoleum a chain falls down the metal leg harsh silence odor- stale, disgust help mind is sick from a night of death practiced slowly, exercised tactlessly please help everything is falling like every time before just give up- nothing is worth This It is dying: we, us, me, you, life the pace of this never slows time moves regardless please stop this thoughts: painful loneliness: deadly i am dying inside your silence within the abortion of love i need Certainty She never wore panties (except, of course, three days each month) and there was something strangely erotic in knowing Her secret, knowing underneath the black worn-until-faded-and-soft ben davis pants, a shivering button and a zippered ladder- was Raw Her. fingers slipping gently into top folds of blue corduroy shorts, burgundy floor length skirts- tickling baby-fresh-flesh abandoned from light- dancing onto the delicate tuft and resting on the soft down bed- breathing through skin and scent, all pores open- meditating. holding the moment in present and memory reaching further, moving in waves of silence, as drops of dew dangle on blades of cut grass the sunday palm sleeps silent in morning bed while the fingers dance in this river of urge- writhing gripping clutching for breath- His hands found Her hair and plunged into it: the silence shatters in echoing pieces the flower blooms in wet fragrance petals the stamen open exposed, dripping nectar in violent handfuls the pants teared into a damp shadow soon to dry into a faint white stain of passion. She never wore panties and there is something sacred in knowing just that. petals and our flowers are melting orange and burnt red hues drooping in the shade fading to brittle brown sounds that snap and crunch when touched like baseball cards in summer spokes. the water in the glass case is murky- clouded with time and stagnance a sickly gray film rests on the surface- uninviting membrane thick as a blackened leaf drops quickly balanced on the skin like a shipwrecked yacht washed ashore a lonesome island's beach and no footprints are in this fresh wet sand. birds of paradise lost in flight grounded by their lonesome deaths. sunflowers with brilliant eyelashes wide-eyed, poising in beauty- withdrawn and weeping. carnations of wonderful pink milk shaded by hunger, alone diseased sticks. this bouquet had a scent of may rain and january babies lost in forever. this new scent penetrates walls and minds- fragrance like rotting pumpkins and mangos. the roots of our flowers are molding and the skin is hardening. i don't want to throw them out i won't there is beauty in This natural destruction and i hope we can survive for just one more day. the first kiss was mutual truly innocent and free darkened by the night sky their shadows began to feed slowly devouring each others form arms, heads, and feet continue to merge alone in this world, abandoned from heaven their souls were seen as one the friction of sin dances between the mutual minds playing trebles of truth and honor overlaying a heavy bass-line of deviance the unexposed mysteries lay unseen for now hiding flesh- soft and hard supple skin- thick and wet responding softly to the lord's touches prayers unheard, requests denied "its time to leave!" the lovers cried until we dance our dance again i'll live for you, and die for sin pain is the only thing that i can feel the only thing thats real and when we all fall purity is the only thing we will try to steal holding on to the last of our minutes crying while we kneel praying to know what is real prayers in threes and wisdoms shared for those subhuman mechanically scared jesus, satan, and me form the true trinity all that you have seen was not free for one day you will pay for the right to be religion is your new disease this fragmented machine needs repair fix it malfunction it's time to leave break it and shatter its fragile dreams wire it up to work like the rest we cant survive your fucking tests leave me alone and let me be install silver chips of sympathy and now its time to say goodbye your fragmented machine is ready to die it's times like these i miss you most when i can see and hear your ghost and all i can do is wait patiently for another dream of you to come back the dreams died 4 months ago ruptured and fell sliding down the walls of the light purple soul with the metallic taste the mental machine regurgitates semi-digested memories partially eaten by fat black worms leeches sucking inspiration and partially caressed by butterflies waiting to lay their eggs and let the larvae consume me its been too long your voice keeps fading echoing into a mirror of unanswered prayers the gypsy's crystal ball is fogged and your face smiles at me trapped in my solitude and i cant sleep the voice haunts me in the dark silence and i cant sleep you come to me taunting and teasing in a time when we still loved and i cant sleep make it stop come tuck me in tie me down and let me sleep leave the leaves of sorrow and pray we die tomorrow psychosomatic psychotic comatose necrophiliac paraplegic nymphomaniac soma victim # 9 your disease is in your secretions my disease is from your nutrition now its time to say goodbye to sell our dreams and trade our lies for when you sing this sanguine tune you are the sun, we kill the moon kill die thrill lie we won't say goodbye you should save your lives hate me mate me create me now break me i died 3 years ago im just waiting for my funeral this is the longest viewing longer than jesus' crucifixion prepare my cross its my time to shine interview me now for our future myths i want to show you god and his lack of love the time is now eat it before it spoils parade me around the lands- shine my soul and make me a demagogue write an obituary fitting of kings i will never be the things that they say i could never answer all that you pray all bow to me the god of the sea the words come for free but the pain is the key i will put your name in the credits u can be the us army my poems are holocaust victims my mind is germany and the pen is hitler 2 day is a day like every other day. the sky is murky orange-brown. the clouds form fogging my eyes with mist opening up and dropping torrents of warm piss and shit across my huddled body, into my mouth, my ears penetrating me with filth venemous anger submission disease, illness, pain and lethargy. 2 day i watched the Sun fall into the black ocean dying and drinking the sin of the sea. i watched the Moon erase Her smile with a sharpened razor blade, rearranging her face to mirror death jumping from the zenith of her throne with a daintily woven rope, snapping her neck silently as her aura bleeds across my eyes with her head tilted softly in a comforting pose. 2 day was a day that mocked existence creation and evolution as the lords emerged from their chariots, carrying brilliant red torches glowing angrily in the humid wind, weaving a pyromania of curling hair dancing in the darkness like thousands of angry snakes hungry from the tasteful scent of bewildering death. our eyes widened in horror as the lords knelt down on our kerosene soaked earth dousing the land in spirals of violent fire. our ears devoured the final nerves of sanity as the magnificent roar increased within the belly of the beast. as we lay submerged in blackened crust rivers charred from the destruction we tasted with every sense the Land has finally grown silent. Nature is rebuilding herself, stretching each fractured bone and mending the canyons. covering her bruises with thick make-up deliberately to hide from the painful eyes. let's go Race Hunting tonight. come on you and me what do you think are you up for it? come on it would be good for you we can even shave our heads together don't worry i'll get the lumps and the ridges in the back for you we'll make sure none of your blood spills tonight. what's wrong why are you looking at me like that? jesus it's not like i said we were Gender Smashing or even Fag Tying it's just race. think about it everyone has done it since the first blink of creation it's natural it's in your veins. Mankind used to live in tribes and spear their neighbors and you ask why? because they were different prayed to opposite spirits ate different things. and war... war can't be denied even in our pseudo-cultured society from the nazis to the japs to the gooks war is fun and war is good business. we all need war in order to focus our fears on tangible things rather than the birth of big brother in our back yards and death from telephone-lined cancer. Hate is only a natural impulse passed down your tree so don't deny ancestry and nature i'll be warming the camaro up while you find your steel-toes and shake the lint from your black shirt i have to pick up a hard pack of camels from the corner store and then we can go Race Hunting. the art of self destruction is scarcely appreciated and rarely perfected. when i destroy everything i want it to be beautiful glory, amazing the spectators, puzzling friends, embracing my truest destiny. every angel eventually falls, with charred wings and dented halos, into an eternal lake an abyss of forgotten dreams and mumbled prayers. only then shall i be complete. lies roll from your tongue like a tired snake shedding his skin. lies enshroud you and you are becoming what you always despised a hypocrite with a hungry ego. lies you feed me like a caged lion i await starving for reality, a meal of truth i have become angry with rage, disease, entrapped in this zoo. my eyes alight with a strange glow of hunger as you step into my fouled cage. the jade aura of the concrete paints you with fear as i leap into the thickened air with sharpened fangs blazing like ancient medieval spears. shredded into dripping pieces i ate, rotted flesh of a decaying person. i was hungry and your lies only made me sick. malnourished... my thirst is sated the appetite decreases tonight, as i slip into the peaceful slumber of a deadly killer who has already accepted his place on the pyramid i have become angry with rage and disease, entrapped in this zoo with fluorescent shadows.  lord wicked himself, in all his brilliance and beauty |